back in college a friend of mine wrote a short poem that will live on with me forever as one of my favorite quotes
Watching porn when suddenly….
A cool ride all the ladies will love
He only ever sits on that one.
So today I got to play Merida for a charity luncheon.
I like my corn with butterface on it.
Today I learned how misleading the push-up bra is
I’ll take one of each please!
Some people don’t get this
Someone actually thought this was a good idea for a baby shower cake…
Number of holes in these waffles don’t match the iron they are sitting in.
I started to make soap a year ago, husband suggested I show it off.
If I fits… Nah, fuck it.
So this showed up on my girlfriend’s twitter, I felt like it belonged here.
Came home to a snake on my doorstep. It has a snake’s head on its head.
My dog was so distressed when he couldn’t get the stick up the stairs