80 Funny Quotes About Life

May
21
, Monday | Add Comment
When it comes to life we often view everything with a rather serious look. While that is good as life as we know it needs full attention, a lot of sincerity and a modicum of patience, there is also the lighter side of life. Here are some Funny Quotes About Life.

When you add humor into the mixture of all these emotions and seriousness, you come up with an end product that is immensely satisfying. But as with anything, humor only hits the right spot and evokes laughter and good feelings when you temper it with kindness and the right timing. When you go through the quotations given here, you will find some of them to be downright hilarious, some will evoke a rueful grin and some will only make you want to shake your head ruefully as you ponder it.

As with any joke or funny quote these quotes will touch a place in your heart because of the hidden element of truth in them. You can use these to get people to open up on a formal occasion or to warm up things when the gathering consists of mostly strangers who are not that comfortable with each other. A shared laugh tends to get things warmer and people closer.

Or you can pick out the ones that suit an occasion best and use them accordingly. A fun quote added to a really sentimental card can add the right balance of fun and sentiment. When a dear friend is in a bad mood due to unhappy circumstances, texting him or her a cute and funny quote will snap him/her out of the fugue.

So go through this and enjoy the truth, humor and sarcasm behind these sayings. Use them in the right context and you will always be able to make people laugh or at least bring a smile to their faces. Here are some Funny Quotes About Life For Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, Friends and to get attention in parties.

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Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

  • If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they’ll stop making it tomorrow; if it’s all three, they stopped making it yesterday.
  • Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure
  • If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else
  • How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
  • The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
  • As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
  • A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.
  • It’s always been and always will be the same in the world:  The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.
  • What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea.
  • An unwatched pot boils immediately.
  • If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark.
  • Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.
  • Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
  • When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
  • How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?
  • Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics
  • Shin:  a device for finding furniture in the dark.
  • Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where it’s usually too late, and not in the barroom downstairs?
  • It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission
  •  It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions
  • If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire
  • If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.
  • People who snore always fall asleep first
  • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement
  • The trouble with, “A place for everything and everything in its place” is that there’s always more everything than places
  • Amount of time it takes for a dog to “do its business” is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner’s outerwear
  • There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even f
    or all of us.  I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice.  The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter.
  • No one is listening until you fart.
  • Interchangeable parts don’t, leakproof seals aren’t, and self-starters won’t.
  • It’s my luck that every time I feel I completely comprehend God’s plan, I don’t have a pencil with me.
  • Keep a thing seven years and it’s bound to come in handy.
  • Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
  • Admiration is a very short-lived passion, that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object; unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a perpetual succession of miracles rising into view.
  • I have never met anyone who wanted to save the world without my financial support
  • Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he’s talking about.
  • I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror.
  • Self-Checkout Line – The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment.
  • People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  • It’s annoying to be disapproved of by people who know only half the story – especially when you’re not sure which half they know.
  • The Act of God designation on all insurance policies… means roughly that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you.  If your ox kicks a hole in your neighbor’s Maserati, however, indemnity is instantaneous

 

 
     
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