70 Hilariously Funny Quotes About Women

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We know words have the power to motivate, inspire, anger and even convince. Throughout the history of mankind we have seen the power of words and how the adept use of them can create positive results and how derogatory use of them can create problems. When it comes to women, there have been many a wise man that has said that a woman’s mind is difficult to fathom and understand. Here are some Funny Quotes About Women to entertain you.


But this does not mean that there are no expressions, quotes or sayings with regard to women. People have tried to capture the essence of a women in many words. It goes without saying that there has been many a humorous quote or saying that have been bandied about regarding women. Often there are accusations about women not having a sense of humor and not appreciating any funny expressions being quoted about them.


It actually is not true; as long as the quote or expression is truly humorous and not intending to hurt, women will surely enjoy these funny quotations. You can use these quotations to text to your girlfriend or write it on a card that you are giving a female friend. Surely reading a funny quote will bring a smile to her face. When done with a soft and really funny touch, no woman can resist a really funny quote and will surely smile at you.


You can go through the list given below and pick the one that suits the occasion and using it accordingly. You may be surprised at the reaction that you get from the women in your house. You will find that a little warm and genuine humor will keep you in the good books of most women. The one thing you need to be cautionary about is ensuring that you never cross the line.


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Funny Quotes About Women

Funny Quotes About Women

  • A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you.
  • A cosmetic is a boon to every woman, but a girl’s best friend is still a near sighted man.
  • A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.
  • A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery.
  • A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right
  • A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.
  • A wise man once said “I don’t know, ask a girl.”
  • A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.
  • A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.
  • A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
  • A woman is like a tea bag – By you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
  • A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.
  • A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.
  • A woman should soften but not weaken a man.
  • A woman wears her tears like jewelry.
  • A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – By That’s because she changes it more often.
  • A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.
  • Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
  • Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
  • All girls can be intelligent..you just gotta act stupid in front of them.
  • All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.
  • Americans like fat books and thin women.
  • Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he’s in love with her.
  • As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
  • Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  • Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
  • Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
  • Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl’s best friend is still a nearsighted man.
  • Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
  • Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.
  • Don’t judge a women from 100 feet away.
  • Don’t argue! You cannot win. You cannot beat a woman in a argument. It’s impossible. You will not win. Cause, men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
  • Don’t give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can’t wear in the evening.
  • Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
  • Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
  • Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right – By instantly.
  • Fake hair, fake nails, fake eye lash, artificial face and sometimes fake behavior, yet a woman will say she needs a real man.
  • Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman’s weapon is her tongue.
  • For most of history, Anonymous was a woman
  • From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.
  • God made women beautiful and foolish,….beautiful that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.
  • How to find a wife… Step 1 of 2: Find a woman you like now but you know you’re going to hate in 5 or less years. Give her your house.
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